TEENS AND PEER PRESSURE

You already know that the teen years can be tough. You are figuring out who you are, what you believe, what you are good at, what your responsibilities are, and what your place in the world is going to be.

It is comforting to face those challenges with friends who are into the same things that you are. But you probably hear adults — parents, teachers, counselors, etc. — talk about peer pressure more than the benefits of belonging to a peer group.

You might not hear a lot about it, but peers have a profoundly positive influence on each other and play important roles in each other's lives:

• Friendship: Among peers you can find friendship and acceptance and share experiences that can build lasting bonds.

• Positive examples: Peers set plenty of good examples for each other. Having peers who are committed to doing well in school or to doing their best in a sport can influence you to be more goal-oriented, too. Peers who are kind and loyal influence you to build these qualities in yourself.

• Feedback and advice: Your friends listen and give you feedback as you try out new ideas, explore beliefs,and discuss problems. Peers can help you make decisions, too: what courses to take; whether to get your hair cut, let it grow or how to handle a family argument. Peers often give each other good advice. Your friends will be quick to tell you when they think you are making a mistake or doing something risky.

• Socializing: Your peer group gives you opportunities to try out new social skills. Getting to know lots of different people — such as classmates or teammates — gives you a chance to learn how to expand your circle of friends, build relationships, and work out differences. You may have peers you agree or disagree with, compete with, or team with, peers you admire, and peers you do not want to be like.

• Encouragement: Peers encourage you to work hard, help you study, listen and support you when you are upset or troubled, and empathize with you when they've experienced similar difficulties.

• New experiences: Your peers might get you involved in clubs or sports. Your world would be far less rich without peers to encourage you try sushi for the first time, listen to a CD you have never heard before, or to offer moral support when you audition for the school play.

Teens and peer pressure have always been a common topic for discussions. A review of various research shows that peers have a greater influence on adolescent substance abuse. Peers can encourage friends to use drugs and alcohol or tease them for being afraid to try them, which can lead to the initiation of drinking and drug use.

The following strategies are important for handling peer pressure effectively:

Learn to say NO: Declining to participate in activities that you are not comfortable with is a way to resist peer pressure.

Plan and practice what you will say if you are pressured to do something you do not want to do. For example, before going out with friends, you may practice what you might say if offered a cigarette. You could decline with a simple “no, thanks,” or say that you do not want it to interfere with your sports training, or you could state that it makes your allergies worse.

Communicate with your parents: Sometimes saying NO may involve leaving an unsafe situation. Arrange a "bail-out" code phrase you can use with your parents without losing face with your peers. You might call home from a party at which you're feeling pressured to drink alcohol and say, for instance, "Can you come and drive me home? I have a terrible earache."

Know yourself: When faced with peer pressure to engage in risky behaviors, such as using drugs, it is important to remember your values. For example, maybe earning high grades and acceptance into a prestigious college is important to you. Or, perhaps you value setting a good example for younger siblings. Remembering these values will increase your confidence to say no to a choice that does not align with what is important to you.

Choose the right friends: Peer influence during adolescence is strong, so it is important to choose friends wisely. As noted previously, peer pressure can be positive, so having the right group of friends can help you make good choices. For example, choosing friends who value school and participate in positive activities such as sports and other activities can limit your exposure to negative peer pressure. In addition, friends who support your values can stand up for you if you find yourself in a situation where you need to say no to peer pressure.

Nurture self-esteem:A teen with strong self-esteem can make decisions and follow through on them, despite what his or her friends say. 

It is not always easy to resist negative peer pressure, but when you do, it is easy to feel good about it afterward. And you may even be a positive influence on your peers who feel the same way — often it just takes one person to speak out or take a different action to change a situation. Your friends may follow if you have the courage to do something different or refuse to go along with the group. Consider yourself a leader and know that you have the potential to make a difference.

Written by:-

Elizabeth Mathew

(School Counselor)